What is the difference between Disciplining vs. Punishing your Child?

(Example: Child lost a library book.)

Discipline
Goal: To instill a value -long-lasting behavior change.(Be Responsible)

Consequence: Connect consequence with value (extra chores for a week to earn money for book, no tv for a week, write down why being responsible is important/ identify ways to be less forgetful, conversation with parent regarding the importance of being responsible and how they will handle situation next time, Parent acknowledge times in future when child IS responsible).

Message Given: “Your behavior was unacceptable.”

Resulting message in child: Remorseful (Child wants to improve behaviors.)

Consequence: Connect consequence with value (extra chores for a week to earn money for book, no tv for a week, write down why being responsible is important/ identify ways to be less forgetful, conversation with parent regarding the importance of being responsible and how they will handle situation next time, Parent acknowledge times in future when child IS responsible).
Message Given: “ Your behavior was unacceptable.”
Resulting message in child: Remorseful (Child wants to improve behaviors.) Punishment

Goal: To stop a behavior- Immediate behavior change.(Don’t lose a book again!)

Consequence: Consists of making the child feel bad ( Yell at child and say they are forgetful, compare to other kids that don’t lose books, parent pays for book restrict child from privileges for a span of time, no acknowledgement of improvements in future.)

Message Given: “You are unacceptable.”

Resulting emotion in child: Shame and resentment (child solely desires to avoid punishment.)